suburban sound sprawl

It's Official: I now have Double D's.

2008-06-02T23:36:00.002-07:00

Fact: Mounting Moose all have double D's. The statement may seem incorrect on so many levels when first reading it, but allow me to explain. First, if it sounds grammatically incorrect when the sentence is said out loud, it's not. The plural of moose is in fact moose. I even googled it to make sure. Furthermore, I have never met a Moose ready to mount that did not come equip with double D's, and that includes me. We have some of the biggest, most impressive D's in the world. I shared one of my D's the other day. I exposed it and proudly exhibited it to the public for what it truly was, soft all around, bouncy in its expression. It was my personality trait of self-discipline. Now comes the other of the pair: my determination. The firmer, more supple of the two. The determination to mount the hump that is procrastination and violate it to the max with my unwillingness to say no and go home. I will not let my laziness get the most of me again and let this blog die for months on end.

Yeah, that was completely unnecessary. I just wanted to write something that would allow me to use the amazing title that I came up with. Sorry if I disappointed anyone out there, honestly. :(

I guess I could actually tie this into something important and somewhat related to determination, or my lack of it in real life. I realized how shitty my work habits are at school, and how unmotivated and undetermined I am to achieve any real academic goals for myself. It's getting near the end of school for us, and I've been slowing down. Seriously, I honestly feel that I should be in the ESL class with all the Asian foreigners who try to learn English, give up and start talking in Chinese or Korean when the teacher's not listening, that's how lazy and stupid I'm feeling right now. I feel like I should be taking math essentials with...those people who suck at math (I like offensive that was :D). I'm seriously giving up on all my courses, and I think that everyone else should too, in order to make me feel like I'm doing something common and natural. Yeah, I may have stopped caring about school, but now I've become extremely determined to convince people to gain the same mindset as me. I was talking to someone the other day who was saying something about how it was "the last two weeks of school, gotta go out there and give it 110% now!" I was like, what the hell, you're pushing yourself now while I'm winding down? It was a complete eye-opener for me; I thought about how I could be doing this backwards, giving up too quickly. Then I realized that if I gave up now, I could go home and play with my Nintendo Wii with that extra free time. So the point is, how about people stop putting effort into school and instead join me in mediocrity? I know that I'll be able to convince a few people to stop trying for just 2 weeks. I'm totally gonna pimp this idea out on everyone, especially in the Honours classes.

Anyways, I guess that's good enough for a little blurb today. I feel like I've done enough convincing.

EVERYONE GIVE UP ON SCHOOL NOW.

Lacking determination? Pssh, yeah, maybe in some areas, but not all. :)

WOW, I have some discipline.

2008-05-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm impressed with myself. My computer has been crashing because of the heat, and I've tried to write this 3 times. I've sat here for a good hour trying to finish this. I'm pretty much resorting to writing anything that pops into my mind just so I can say that I got this done. But clearly, this shows some self-discipline, which I'm ridiculously proud of. What makes me even happier is that it's been freaking hot, and I'm still sitting here working on this fully clothed. I didn't even bother to change out of my jeans or anything, since I was so damn committed to finishing this entry. This shows the respect I have towards shoushoushwa :D. Anyways, this entry gets worse and worse each time, so I'm hoping this will be the last time.

But yeah, if no one's noticed yet, it's hot. SO hot. So hot, that every time I look out the window, I get this terrible mental image of people either spontaneously combusting into flames, or spontaneously exploding out of their clothes and frolicking around naked. So hot that, as mentioned before, my computer crashes when it gets overheated, which has caused me to put this stupid fan underneath my feet to cool it down. It doesn't even fit properly, so I have to flip it to the side and kind of place my foot on it to keep it in place. I love my solutions to problems.

The heat is pretty much destroying my house right now. I was downstairs a few days ago, and I was sitting on my leather couch. I get up like, less than 30 minutes later to walk over to my fridge to get a drink before I dehydrated, and I hear this ripping sound. My legs had apparently melted straight onto the couch and I was in pain for the longest time. I sat back down, but realized that I would probably get stuck again, and ended up sort of rolling/standing around on the hardwood floor instead. My life is amazing.

Anyways, I had another paragraph planned, but for the life of me I cannot remember what I was going to write about, so I'll stop here before I write more sad stories about myself that I should not publish on the internet. Well, the point is, I'm not a fan of the heat right now, even though I usually am. It's not the best start; the heat's been killing the flowers in the backyard, it's been making the watermelons I eat look all mushy and gross, and it's given me this weird looking u-shaped tan even though I haven't even spent that much time outside. So, yeah, the sun sucks. It sucks more than meowing at a cat, hoping for a response, but getting denied because it turns out that so-called cat was actually a soccer ball (I'll write more on that never).

If this made absolutely no sense, I blame the heat.

Beasties.

Dance Moz, Dance!

2008-05-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have discovered a new fascination with a breed of boys that have distinctive dance moves. They fit in somewhere between the boys that like glitter makeup and the really pale sickly looking ones. There's something about the uncoordianted flailing of limbs that is really quite liberating and mesmerizing to watch. So here I have compiled a series of videos which I believe best show off this charming phenomenon.

I first discovered this unique brand of dancing when watching Ian Curtis of Joy Division. It's a whole lot of twitching and and windmilling. This is Joy Division playing She's Lost Control.
Joy Division - She's Lost Control
Ahh... I wish I could pull that off.

Actually this next video is just impressive. I wish I could move like Kevin Barnes. And wear tight white pants. Here's Of Montreal covering Gnarls Barkley's Crazy.
It really starts at around 1:15.
Of Montreal - Crazy

Finally, we come to the man that you've hopefully been expecting. Morrissey. The ultimate awkward boy in the corner turned cult pop star. Here are the Smiths playing Shoplifters of the World Unite on Top Of The Pops. I'd like to think that the poor unsuspecting kids in the front are getting uncomfortable to the max watching the strangely hypnotizing turning of the Moz's hips. It doesn't get any hotter than this.
The Smiths - Shoplifters Of The World Unite

Post-European Fantasies of A North American/Asian Nature

2008-04-07T21:04:00.001-07:00

Crude humour intrigues me. However, it is clean humour that dumbfounds me. In all the sitcoms and talk shows I watch in Canada, sexual innuendo is the biggest source of laughter. However, it is a true rarity in Korean comedy programs. Yet, it’s still funny! How do you be funny without being crude? It confuses me to no end. So I will end with the only way I know of being entertaining: with abrupt, unexpected crudeness.

Cunt.

Goodnight.

EIGHT DAYS till a very important happening

2008-02-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

Well. Shoushoushwa has finally moved on to bigger and better things.
We are officially expanding across the Atlantic, into FREAKING EUROPE.
France, and Germany to be exact.

And only for two weeks, but still.

So in the countdown for this amazing trip I pledge to post something on this blog EVERY DAY before we depart for Europe, next Wednesday.

The last few months have been very very ... hormonal. Last summer was when everyone got a job. This winter has been when everyone got a boy. Or is chasing a boy. Lots of angst and dramatic fucking awful poetry. And in the midst of this high speed emotional rollercoaster, we get to take a break and go overseas. By the time we get back, our faces will be on the billboards of Vancouver everywhere, "six girls in metallic leggings and a Canucks jersey making a spectacle of themselves on the Eiffel Tower? Hell YEAHH this deserves a skytrain ad for the Canucks!"
Of course, we'll become famous, and eventually gain international fame. Then we'll get alllll the exotic Scottish boys with fit pants who play hockey and guitar we want.

Hoestly, Scottish accents are amazing. After watching Ewan Mcgregor in tight pants and a belly shirt in Trainspotting, I've become amzingly attracted to anything with an outrageious accent. But honestly, life is just one disappointment after another. The British people who were supposed to come to our school last week? Ummm their accents were laaaaame. Way too high-class uptight London. And the guys weren't even hot. Nothing comes about how you imagine it will be.

Except for Europe. That will for sure be absofuckinglutely amzing.

Thanks you.

Tune in tomorrow for our views on boys that look less like Asian superstars in real life.

Catchup Ketchup

2007-10-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

I've been craving fries a lot lately. With KETCHUP!
It's been a long time. School's a bitch. I've got a test tomorrow so I'll keep it short and sweet.
Over the past month me and my partner, Moose Yearning to Mate went to an Arctic Monkeys Concert, wanted to slap the Klaxons for playing a 19+ show the very next day, and had some fun DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. We made up dances, got new dead-end crushes as well as one with potential, and more DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! But as I said, I have a test tomorrow, so more on that will be posted tomorrow.
Hopefully.

If I remember.

Random Introductions with No Structure

2007-09-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

It took damn near a month for me to finally get around to writing my first blog, but a bunch of inconveniences got in my way. I got my first job, had to go back to school, and lastly, and most importantly, I had to learn to not type like an idiot, swear every two words, and write all the weird thoughts in my head... at least not at the beginning. I'm sure my buddy Sophia would agree with me. :) I would've actually written something a couple days ago, but I realized that I had absolutely no clue what my password and information were, and I gave up on attempting to figure it out after zero tries.

Nonetheless, it's better late than never! You may call me Moose yearning to mate (and mount), or Captain Horny Hook, or simply Sharon, the least suggestive name, but unfortunately, what most people call me. Those other nicknames never really did catch on to anyone else. Obviously, I'm one half of shoushoushwa. What it is exactly, I don't know yet, but I'm sure it will be something interesting.

Quite frankly, I have no idea what my partner meant by the floppy discs thing, and that's shocking because we're usually on the same wavelength as far as filthy jokes and subjects are concerned. However, I do agree that the bra removal was liberating to the max, especially when you take into account that Sophia and I have been stuck with that awful "really good Asian girls who care about school the most" stereotype. Clearly I don't care THAT much about school if I've actually had thoughts about dropping out for shoushoushwa of all things. Anyways, I love the idea of just not having clothes. There would be no concerns about buying over-priced shit to look "cooler", coolness would be based on other qualities. I'll let you think about what the other qualities are. Plus, if everyone felt alright about being nude all the time, our time and energy would be focused on much more important things rather than the new trends and what to wear for tomorrow. Politics, literature, fitness, sex, and writing in weird blogs would become the main topics of the day, more so than ever before. Now who wouldn't want to live in a world like that?

Hmm...such stimulating conversations we have, and many more to come.

We are the Liberati

2007-09-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Today was a day full of strange whims and yearnings. The summer sun and the stifling warm weather may have been the catalyst for these natural instincts.
I walked bare feet on the wet cement.
I looked naked from behind.
I played in the water park.
and most natural of all, I took off my bra (discreetly! geesh you prudes, get in touch with your natural instincts!) in the middle of the street.
So here comes my next question. Why are women required to wear bras in the first place? Why can't we take off our shirts when it gets too warm? I DEMAND THIS DOUBLE STANDARD TO BE REMEDIED AT ONCE!
In fact, why do we in the "developed world" feel compelled to wear clothes at all? It would be much more practical to be naked all the time! There would be no wasted resources in excess clothing. There would be no question of cumbersome dress-codes at school or work. It would save the world a lot of money, and we wouldn't have to look down on those rich girls for buying $500 shirts.
This question has been on Shoushoushwa's mind constantly. Now, I pass the torch onto my partner to continue this very profound discussion. (*hint* talk about floppy discs!)

Declarations of a grave nature

2007-09-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

From this moment on you may refer to me by my spiritual name as...
Bear Fetus Yearning To Migrate (Down the Vaginal Channel)

Thank you for taking your time to consider my inner well being.

Shoushoushwa activate!!

2007-08-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Get ready for take over. It's time for shoushoushwaaaaa!